10 Secrets
by Shyma Tavrott Lupin
Summary: 10 Secrets of the If everyone Cared/Someday Characters. Companion piece to both Someday and If Everyone Cared.
1. Xanatos Omega

** Ok guys, here we go, the first of the 10 secrets is Xanatos Omega. We'll learn his 10, then Obi-Wan, Garen, Anakin, Qui-Gon, and Padme in that order. Requests are gladly accepted =] Enjoy!**

Xanatos Omega

1) Xanatos clearly recalls the first time he met Qui-Gon Jinn. Even though it was when he was 3, he remembers looking into those midnight blue eyes for the first time. And he still remembers the moment that Qui-Gon told him he was special, and that he wanted to bring him to the Jedi Temple. Xanatos remembers accepting the offer immediately. Even though he was just 3.

Xanatos thinks that's why his father wanted to bring him to his side so badly. Because Xanatos, on his own free will turned away from him so early, so young. And never regretted being a Jedi for even a moment. Because in reality no real father ever wanted to corrupt their only son for their own purposes. Xanatos only realized this after he drew his lightsaber on Qui-Gon. The only man that would ever be his real father.

2) Xanatos loves no one more than he does his young apprentice. Well, former apprentice. But it didn't matter what Obi-Wan's rank was, to him he would always be that big blue eyed little boy he was when Xanatos first saw him. And no matter how many times he's turned to the dark side for that boy. No matter how many times that boy has touched the dark side for him, he will _never _regret taking Obi-Wan Kenobi as an apprentice. Because a father can never regret meeting his son.

3) Xanatos loved Alliya Taro. He really did. But it always stung him a little inside that she was Terry's girlfriend before she was his. Still, it had been almost 20 years, and she made him feel good. But there was another that made him feel that good, if not better.

11 years ago, when he was 22, he and Obi-Wan had gone on a negotiation mission to a nearby planet called Kiva. The queen of Kiva, Amora Covell, was young, beautiful and the same age as he. Of course being a Jedi, Xanatos wasn't phased by her. She had taken a liking to him though, at first as just a welcoming friend. She got along with Obi-Wan incredibly well. And it seemed the lack of a mother figure in the young boy's life had caught up with him as well. And as much as Xanatos coddled him, nothing exactly compared to having a loving woman there for him. It was at that point, when Xanatos saw how much she and Obi-Wan had come to love each other, that he fell for her. Not because she was the queen. Because she was Amora. Because she was graceful, beautiful and pure.

And once she noticed the way he was looking at her...something clicked inside both of them. It was a perfect feeling inside. It was pure. It was amazing. And it was like nothing Xanatos had ever felt before. But what Xanatos loved the most about her was her love of everything. She was the queen but not one bit corrupt. She loved all beings equally and seemed particularly fond of children such as Obi-Wan. It still amazes him to this day that despite being only 3 when he met her, Obi-Wan still remembers her. That had to count for something.

But of course the negotiations had to end sometime. And when the mission ended nothing seemed more painful to Xanatos. He knew he was a Jedi and he was trained to let go. But this was different. He even considered staying back. Leaving the order to be with her. It did not matter to him that it would make him the king, it didn't matter one bit that he would be able to rule if he where married to her. All that mattered was being with her. But when she told him to go on and be the Jedi he was destined to be. When _she_ told him to return to the Jedi because staying would be something he might regret later on in his life....yes it was then that Xanatos realized she wanted nothing more than for him to be happy. It saddened him that he would most likely never see those green eyes again (that is until several years later when he would run into her uncle Damian Covell, king of Metellos.) And upon leaving that planet (Obi-Wan was so crestfallen that they had to leave) Xanatos knew he could never love another like he had loved Amora Covell. Not even Alliya Taro. Not even close.

4) He was often shocked by the things that he and Obi-Wan had in common. Sometimes, even after so many years, it would shock Xanatos when Obi-Wan finished his sentences for him. Or when he would come home after a council meeting or something and Obi-Wan had exactly what he had a craving for out on the dinner table. Little things like that never cease to amuse him. Sometimes little things happened to Obi-Wan that he remembered happening in his own life. He would smile because he knew in about 3 seconds Obi-Wan would speak to him through the bond and say something like "that's another one to add to the book" or something like that. Obi-Wan would always find one way or another to make him laugh.

But seriously, Xanatos found the amount of similarities stunning. Everything from the age they where picked as padawan to their favorite foods. It was all the same. It was things like this that made Xanatos believe...that the _force_ had something to do with their meeting.

5) He never meant to turn to the dark side for every other serious battle in his life. It just somehow happened. And every single time he would be terrified that Yoda had, had enough and was going to kick him out of the order. Of course that would never happen but still, the thought scared Xanatos.

6) Despite coming off to be a tough powerful Jedi, a lot of things scared Xanatos. He had grown up very insecure (even though he had been coddled by Qui-Gon for everything) and that kind of stuck with him as he became a man. He was so afraid of loss it was almost a paranoia. This is where Xanatos felt for Anakin. This is where he understood what the boy was going through. And when the teen had dreams about Qui-Gon's death, he knew how it felt. Because he had, had quite a few dreams in the past about Obi-Wan meeting his end. Of course it scared the sith hells out of him, and sometimes he would spend hours standing at Obi-Wan's door, watching him sleep. Just for the satisfaction of seeing he was alive and well. Xanatos knew how it felt to be taken away from family. Of course Neither Anakin nor Xanatos felt that loss very much because Xanatos hardly even remembered his family and, well Shmi worked in the temple so Anakin was free to visit her any time. But most of all Xanatos knows what it's like to touch the dark side. Yes he felt such a strong darkness inside Anakin. And the reason no one else felt it was because it was hidden, untapped. But Xanatos loved the boy, and wouldn't want to tell him (which may end up being the cause of the darkness being tapped.)So he kept quiet. Still, he knew. And that was all that mattered.

7) If Xanatos weren't a Jedi, he would have adopted Garen Muln. Because when a boy so young could go through the abuse of a master and the loss of his brother, and _still_ stay so optimistic, he deserved it. Garen had really lost a lot, and if Xanatos hadn't been there for the boy then the force knows what would have happened to him. Because a few days following Terry's death, Garen was failing practically every exam he took, barely getting past his classes. To sum things up he was a total mess. And then Xanatos looked at the mess Garen was making of himself and wondered why he wasn't there to stop it. He had made a promise to Terry after all to make sure Garen would be ok after his death. So why wasn't he keeping the promise. This is what made Xanatos step up and become and essential part of Garen's life. He straightened things out that his master wouldn't bother with, and helped him back onto his feet. Because it wasn't that hard. Xanatos had learned with Obi-Wan, that all you needed to make a child trust you was a few hugs and the knowledge that you'll be there for them. So he did exactly that and brought Garen back on track. In the process becoming very attached to the boy. He was a good kid.

Because Xanatos looks at the man Garen Muln is today, and sees a mirror reflection of Terry Muln. And he is happy he had kept his promise.

8) There where 4 times in Xanatos's entire life when he felt so torn apart inside, more than any physical pain that the cruel world had to hold.

The first time was after he fought with Qui-Gon on Telos, when he was 18. After he fought, and realized that Qui-Gon was the one that truly cared about him, he felt so terrible about all the things he had done to the older man. This was where Xanatos grew the fear that he would let his master down.

The second time was when Obi-Wan was 6 and the incident on Mustafar happened. He was so shattered when he realized he had allowed such a thing to happen to someone so young and innocent. He never really did come to forgive himself for that.

The third time was when Terry had died. It was at that moment that Xanatos lost his best friend and his brother. He would never feel a loss so deep until the death of his master.

The fourth and final time was when he heard the news of Qui-Gon Jinn's death. This was when Xanatos literally felt a large part of himself die on the inside. Everything else was blocked out except the indescribable pain he felt from his former master's death.

And as much as he hates to admit it, it was these four events that made Xanatos the man he is today.

9) Xanatos hated rain, because the day he turned to the dark side for the first time, it rained on Telos. And mind you rain doesn't come to easily on Telos. It struck him that it just so happened to rain on that day. And ever since that day, every time Xanatos has seen rain, it reminded him of that very day. The very day that damned him to the dark side.

10) Xanatos has been through a lot in his life. He really has. And sometimes he wishes he could do it all over again. But every so often when he's feeling particularly alone, he'll hear a call from behind him. And he'll turn around and see the smiling faces of all his friends. Obi-Wan, Garen, Anakin, Alliya, Padme, Master Yoda and the whole gang. And he'll decide life isn't so bad after all.

**Ok, let me start off by saying that #3 was completely oc and probably new to you guys. The thing is, I had the idea of Amora covell for a long time. And there will be a seperate short story about her and Xanatos later on. I hope you guys don't completely hate the idea cause I really want to write that story =]**

**I hope you liked that, Obi-Wan's up next. **

**Review!! =]**


	2. ObiWan Kenobi

**Obi-Wan Kenobi**

1) Obi-Wan doesn't remember being raised by anyone other than Xanatos and Qui-Gon. Sure, he remembered the crèche masters from when he was younger, but that was different. Qui-Gon and Xanatos _really_ raised him. Made him the man he is today. It all started from Xanatos visiting him in the crèche. He knew Xanatos was still a padawan back then, from the braid that hung off his shoulder. And he saw Qui-Gon every once in a while when the older man would come to call his padawan back home with him.

And as young as Obi-Wan was, he knew what he was getting himself into when Xanatos asked him to be his padawan, and he accepted.

He saw a lot more of Qui-Gon after that. Because being a new knight, Xanatos was frequently sent on missions unfit for a 3 years old to be tagging along in. This was when Obi-Wan was put under Qui-Gon's care. As a matter of fact he stayed over at Qui-Gon's so often, that Xanatos's old room became his new one. Qui-Gon was kind and patient with him, and Obi-Wan enjoyed nothing more than being in the older man's calm soothing presence. Even as he grew older.

And when Xanatos was home from his missions, Obi-Wan would be coddled and loved to the max. Xanatos would often spoil him with toys and his favorite foods. Even though worldly possessions where frowned upon in the order, Xanatos decided his apprentice was only 3 and he wouldn't turn to the dark side if he got a few things to decorate his room with. Obi-Wan would constantly be showered with hugs and kisses and force, it was a wonder why he didn't end up a spoiled little brat under all the a love and attention.

But one thing was for sure, Xanatos and Qui-Gon where the only family Obi-Wan Kenobi ever had.

2) Obi-Wan died a little bit inside every time he saw Xanatos turn to the dark side. For 2 reasons. One, because when he was 15, he made a promise to Qui-Gon to keep Xanatos out of the dark side for as long as he shared any relationship with him. And two, because whenever Xanatos used the dark side, pain, hatred, anger and agony flooded their bond. It was truly the most painful thing Obi-Wan had ever experienced. He knew Xanatos felt the same pain when the dark side was tapped. And if there was anything that set Obi-Wan off then it was seeing Xanatos in pain.

3) There where 5 times in Obi-Wan's entire life that he felt dead on the inside.

The first was when he was 6 on Mustafar back when he was kidnapped.

The second, from when he and Xanatos had that fight on Tattoine, to when Master Yoda gave Xanatos the option of taking Anakin as an apprentice.

The third when he held a dying Xanatos in his arms.

The fourth, when news of Qui-Gon's death reached him.

And the fifth, when Xanatos completely turned on him after Qui-Gon's death

4) Obi-Wan loved Siri Tachi. He really did. Seeing as she was Alliya's apprentice, when Alliya was busy with Xanatos, Obi-Wan got to spend a lot of time with Siri. She always did give him a sort of tingly feeling inside whenever she smiled at him, hugged him or even said his name. But it wasn't until several years later did Obi-Wan realize he loved her. He, Siri, Alliya and Xanatos where on a mission together when the two padawan got separated from their masters. They then got stuck inside a cave in the middle of a snow storm. Obi-Wan was 15 and Siri was 13. And sitting in that cave all alone with her, Obi-Wan let out all of his feelings, as did she. And a long fantastic kiss made things official. They didn't really get to do anything else before their masters found them but still...

They both realized their love for one another and that was all they needed. They figured if their masters could be together then so could they.

5) In general, if one where to ask Obi-Wan of his opinion of Alliya Taro, he would say she was a skilled and experienced Jedi Master, whom he respected to no end. He really did mean it when he said that. But truth be told, he was always a tiny bit jealous of her. Because there where several times over the course of the years, that Xanatos canceled their plans so he could spend time with Alliya. Last minute canceling of a training session, or leaving Obi-Wan to dinner alone where some of the few things.

And it wasn't her fault....it was his. Obi-Wan knew this because once he was old enough he did the same with Siri. But still, even as he began to touch his 30's, it hurt Obi-Wan dearly when he ran into that accursed data-pad on the dinner table that said "Sorry, can't be home for dinner tonight. Going out with Alliya-Xanatos."

6) Obi-Wan and Xanatos had gone on many, many, many....many missions together. And during most of them hilarity ensued. But there where 2 in particular that will always stick out in Obi-Wan's mind.

The first was on that mission to Lek' Bre IV on which they where by a course of strange events, denounced gay. One morning, Obi-Wan walked out of his room in the royal palace and went over to Xanatos's room to see what his master was up to. But upon walking into the room, all Obi-Wan saw, was a maid cleaning up around the room. He then found a not on the dresser that read:

Obi-Wan,

I've gone off to discuss a few thing with the king. We'll be in the gardens if you need anything or simply wish to join us.

-X O

Little did Obi-Wan know that the maid had read this note, signed with an XO as well. And that she had completely misunderstood the meaning if that XO. Needless to say it was a bit of a shocker when the maid brought the master and padawan tea that evening, and asked them how long they'd been "together." Obi-Wan had to jump out of the way of the mouthful of tea Xanatos spat out upon hearing this. The maid pointed out the "XO" that Xanatos's note was signed with. Of course, Xanatos then went on to explain that "XO" was his initials, and meant nothing more. But the maid would have none of it, and pestered them about how all the cute guys where always gay, for the rest of the mission.

The second was that mission to Sosoamoa where he and Xanatos where sent to assure the King of the benefits of joining the Republic. And during the mission, the King's only daughter fell incoherently in love with Obi-Wan. Xanatos teased him about this for a long time....that is until the princess asked Obi-Wan to marry her. That was when it became a bit serious. Of course Obi-Wan immediately rejected her, but then she threatened to tell her father to refuse joining the Republic unless Obi-Wan did marry her. They had quite a dilemma and when Obi-Wan still refused to marry her, she went on and told her father that the Jedi where just cruel ignorant people that knew nothing but how to kill. And that the Republic was no different if they supported the Jedi. And the King believed her. Not only did the King believe her, but he also threatened to do something about the cruelty that his daughter claimed the Jedi where causing. He threatened to start a war against the Republic. Thankfully, the Queen stepped in and threw her overly spoiled daughter back into line and knocked some sense into her husband. Then apologized to the Jedi and told them that Sosoamoa would be more than happy to become a part of the Republic. They where so grateful to have been able to leave that mission safe, successful, and most definitely...unmarried.

Good times....good times.

7) Garen Muln was Obi-Wan's brother in all but blood. They met each other in the most unique way, and had been best friends since. And it was no doubt, the work of the force when Garen's older brother and Obi-Wan's master turned out to be best friends. Obi-Wan and Garen became so incredibly close, it was indescribable. They told each other everything and matched each other in everything. They felt anger boil in their system when the other was hurt and knew the other like the backs of their hands.

Yes, they truly where brothers.

8) Yes, despite being only 3 years old, Obi-Wan _did _remember Amora Covell. She was beautiful, gentle and kind with him. She loved and cared for him just as Xanatos had...but somehow it was different. He was so hurt when they had to leave her. She was special and Obi-Wan could never forget her. And frankly, he would have liked her to be with Xanatos more than Alliya.

9) Despite Anakin's stubborn, hot headed act towards him, they where very close. They both grew and matured with one another, making them very close. They spoke freely with one another and enjoyed each other's company very much. Sometimes Obi-Wan wondered what would have happened if he had decided to take Anakin as a padawan instead of Qui-Gon. But every time he thought about that, something told him things wouldn't end too nicely. Still, he was like an older brother to Anakin and that was probably what their relationship would have been like, had Anakin been his padawan anyway. So all was well.

But what struck him the most was that he couldn't help but feel small vibes of the dark side come off of Anakin every once in a while. Yes, the dark side. He knew it was the dark side for sure because growing up with Xanatos he became very much familiar to the feel of the dark side of the force. And he definitely felt it from Anakin. That was something he sensed would lead to a major conflict in the younger's life. All the more reason to stick by Anakin's side and make sure he's there for the teen when that dark side decides to show.

10) Sometimes, Obi-Wan wonders what his life would have been like if it was like a normal Jedi's. Conflict free. He would train, eat, sleep, go on missions and then one day he would die. End of story. Simple, uncomplicated, pain free life. And then a comm link would come flying towards him and bash into the back of his head with the most painful thump. Xanatos's voice would then come from the depths of the house, sarcasm dripping off of it "Yoda's given us a mission to the force knows where.....again. Yay..." And then he would hear Garen's voice "Hey, at least you're not being sent to the outer rim!" And then Anakin "Tell me about it!"

It was at those moments that Obi-Wan would chuckle softly and decide he really wouldn't have life any other way.

**Hey guys, so there you go, Obi-Wan's 10 secrets =] I loved #6 so much XD It came up when my older brother was reading the last Someday chapter over my shoulder and he said to me "Why is it that Xanatos's initals are XO? That could be so easily misunderstood you know." His words sounded hilarious and I thought you know what, he's right. So then that came up. I love the second one too, which was mentioned briefly in If Everyone Cared XD **

**Well, next up is Garen, and he's got a couple of interesting ones =] School starts tomorrow(T--T) so it might be a bit before Garen's is up. But I'll try to have it asap =]**

**Review!!**


	3. Garen Muln

**Phew, sorry for the lat update guys. Schools started and I've been a bit busy. But anyways, here's Garen. Next up is going to be Anakin instead of Qui-Gon just because I have a few interesting ideas for him. So Enjoy! Oh and please do me a favor and ignore the spelling mistakes that are inevidably in here cause my spell check is so shot and I havent gotten around to fixing it yet XD**

**Garen Muln**

1) It was very rare for two siblings in the same family to be force sensitive. Nevertheless this was the case with Garen and his brother Terry. They were both force-sensitive and boh brought to the temple.

Garen however was the polar opposite of his brother. Whereas Terry was social, outgoing and easy to make friends with, Garen was shy and quiet. Despite this Terry was always there for his younger brother, and Garen appreciated this very much. But as Terry grew older, the time he could give the younger became limited. Because Terry had friends of his own, not to mention he was also chosen as a padawan at a very early age. So over time he became very busy. It hurt Garen but he understood.

Then came along the little blue eyed dynamite named Obi-Wan Kenobi, that became half the reason Garen is the man he is today. Obi-Wan Kenobi was quick to become Garen's closest friend. Because somehow the second the fire in Obi-Wan's eyes met the water in Garen's, both of them knew they would be stuck with each other for a long....long time.

And that they where. They practically grew up together. And it was Obi-Wan that stayed up with him all night after Terry's death. And it was Obi-Wan that embraced him like a brother when they met once more after their 5 year separation. And after he found out he was with Padme.

And after all that Garen has to admit that in his entire lifetime he had had two brothers.

Terry Muln and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

2) The very first time Garen Muln set eyes on Padme Amidala he immediately knew that she was the most beautiful being he had ever seen.

And as much as he enied it and shoved his feelings for her aside, he couldn't hide the truth forever. He knew the truth was that the second he saw her he fell very much in love with her. And then the Jedi in him came in and backhanded him across the face then covered his feelings up with dry humor and sarcasm.

When Padme first kissed Garen, he wasn't sure whether he was supposed to be happy or terrified. Therefore he stood perfectly still, both terrified and happy. Then he sensed Anakin, and the Jedi in him returned. This time it force pushed him into a wall and screamed at him for letting it get this far. For letting something like this tarnish his image as the perfect Jedi. For breaking his promise to his brther that he _would _be the perfect Jedi.

He rejected her time and time again for this very reason.

But when she approached him after Qui-Gon's death, Garen realized he couldn't keep this up any longer. Because hey, even Terry had a girfriend during his time as a Jedi. So he would be doing no wrong letting her in. So he did. And he didn't regret it for a second.

3) Garen really didn't mind Alliya being with Xanatos. Even though she was Terry's girlfriend up until his death, Garen understood that both she and Xanatos needed someone to lean on. And they just so happen to find one another. And it wasn't like they got together the day after Terry's death. They sure as hell took the time to think over what they where getting themselves into. And Garen appreciated that. He didn't for a single second feel that they were dishonoring Terry's memory because they weren't. Time and time again they would talk about him and laugh at the things they used to do when they were younger. Sometimes Alliya and Xanatos would sit him and Obi-Wan down and tell them stories about the trouble they used to get themselves into. And they would laugh. Garen appreciated this as well, because it would help him smile every time he remembered his brother instead of breaking down. And he was sure that's exactly what Terry would want him to do.

4) Garen had(he's very ashamed to admit) watched chick-flicks before. He has watched those mushy romance movies and they have always annoyed the life out of him. He swore that if he ended up going all fluffy gaga once he fell in love then he would seriously never fall in love. Ever. Because the movies prtrayed that it was all about the physical relationship. Hugging, kissing, so on and so forth. Garen believed strongly against this. It was about what you could convey through a simple smile, or even meeting each other's eyes.

Of course Garen was a very handsome young man and very much swoonworthy. And there hasn't been one girl that he's met that hasn't wanted to just jump on him and touch him. Garen realizes this is also why he rejected Padme a few times. Because she kissed him and showed him physical attraction at first. And then after Qui-Gon's death she simply sat there and stroked his hand. And that made Garen feel so good inside, that he knew she was the one. It showed him that she was in love with Garen Muln. Not Garen Muln's gorgeous upper body, his smooth brown hair or his piercing green eyes. But the man himself.

5) If it weren't for Xanatos, Garen would probably be a failure of a Jedi exile. Seriously. Because Xanatos is the one that promised Terry he would take care of Garen. And hell did he keep that promise.

He was not nice with it. He didn't gently coax Garen out of his misery. He was all "Do or Do Not. There Is No Try." When he found Garen on the ground he litteraly grabbed him by the collar and hurled him back onto his feet. And now that Garen thinks back about it, if he was genly coaxed he probably wouldn't have listened. And he's happy Xanatos decided to beat the sense back into him. Because he needed it.

6) Garen didn't mean to take Anakin as an apprentice. Because truth be told, he had his own problems to deal with. And the last thing he needed was an irresponsible, headstrong, disrespectful teenager on his hands. But then he realized underneath the disrespect and irresponsibility was insecurity and hurt. It sort of reminded him of himself after Terry's death. And he was lucky enough to have Xanatos and Obi-Wan there for him after that. But Anakin...he had no one. Because Xanatos and Obi-Wan where offworld dealing with a whole different crisis. And he wasn't even in the security of the Jedi Temple. Anakin was all alone. So Garen thought he'd step up and help. Because for a moment Garen took the time to think of what would have happened to him, had no one stepped up to help him. He then shook his head at the thought and decided no one...not even Anakin should have to go through something like that.

7) Garen had to admit the worst years of his life were during his apprenticeship with Clee Rhara. She wasn't a bad person or anything, but Garen just wished she cared a little more. Wished she did a little more than just train, clothe, and feed him. Sort of like how Xanatos would just hang out with Obi-Wan sometimes. Garen wished his master would just hang out with him sometimes. Garen knew only one person who had dealt with a master somewhat like that.

Qui-Gon Jinn.

So when Garen went to Qui-Gon one fine afternoon and asked him what to do about the situation Qui-Gon said to him "Listen Garen, our masters are set in stone. We cannot change who they are, so we might as well change who we are. We have to bend to their needs. We have to learn to deal with them."

So that's exactly what he did. Garen just dealt with it till he was knighted. He later realized Clee Rhara was much like Count Dooku(except being a young man at the time he recieved much more kindness from Dooku than Qui-Gon did) and both of them did care, and it was just a bit hidden was all. Because if they didn't care they could have simply dropped the apprenticeship and finished it off. But they didn't. they carried on no matter how hard it got. Yes they did care. That is why every so often Garen drops by Master Rhara's quarters to say hi and see how his old master is doing.

8) Garen remembers his parents very well. Only because he and Terry went to visit them a few times before the older's death. Garen remembers his mother and how she seemed to have taken a liking to him over Terry. And then he remembers his father who had liked Terry better because he was the "better Jedi." And then he remembers about 10 years later, recieving news about their death and how he had inherited all their possesions seeing that the original heir(Terry) was dead. And somehow it really didn't hurt Garen as much when he found out his parents were dead. Because as soon as he recieved this news he turned around and found Alliya and Xanatos standing behind him arguing like an old married couple. And just as he was about to inform him of his parents' passing, they both turned to him and Xanatos went "Can you please explain to her that yellow is the most disgusting lightsaber color?" And then Alliya went "No can you please explain to _him _that orange is the most disgusting lightsaber color!" "No it's yellow I mean have you seen the way-" "The way orange does it is even worse-" "Nuh-uh" "Yuh-huh" "Nuh-uh" "Yuh-huh" "Nuh-uh"

No, Garen didn't really feel that bad when he found out about his parent's death in that speeder accident. Maybe because all the troubles of having parents were right there with him already...

"Nuh-uh!" "Yuh-huh!" "Nuh-uh!" "Yuh-huh!!"

"Guys! Are you serious?!"

"Absolutely serious-yellow sucks" "Completely serious-no orange does" "You suck" "You suck more" "Nuh-uh" "Yuh-huh" "Nuh-uh" "Yuh-huh"

"Story of my life..."

9) There were 6 times in Garen's life that he fell so hard he felt he could never fully revover from it.

The first, when Terry passed away.

The second when he got news of what Obi-Wan had pulled on Naboo and he and Xanatos were both under unstable conditions at the moment.

The thrid when he Obi-Wan and Xanatos went on that mission a few months after Obi-Wan's knighting and he felt the blow of seeing Xanatos use the dark side for the first time.

The fourth when Padme kissed him because this was when he realized he was in love.

The fifth upon hearing the news of Qui-Gon's death.

And the final was when Anakin force pushed him into that starship back on Naboo. Because Garen knew. Oh yes he knew Anakin hadn't done that by accident. He knew the boy had intentionally released his rage on him though that single force push. And it hurt. Both mentally and physically.

10) Standing at Qui-Gon's funeral, Garen fel the most misserable he had since he had stood at Terry's funeral. It was such a terrible feeling inside that it made him feel like his life couldn't possibly go on. And then he spotted Xanatos silently stepping out of the chamber. He and Obi-Wan had both spotted it, and were quick to follow him. And when they had reached their destination, they found themselves on top of the fifth temple spire. The tallest one that over looked that entire proportion of Coroscant.

Then suddenly, Garen felt a hand slip into his and upon turning he found Padme standing next to him. She smiled at him. He tried hard to return it but found that he couldn't. Turning to look at Obi-Wan he found that Anakin stood behind Obi-Wan, a hand on the older's shoulder.

And then Xanatos, who was standing with his back against them spoke. He said "I will fix this." He promised. And instantly Garen believed him. He suddenly found new light and suddenly everything was alright. It wasn't perfect but it wasn't misserable anymore. Suddenly Garen knew....life would go on.

**So, how was it? lol I like #8 cause it was the only humorous one. lol and somehow I always kind of imagined Alliya and Xanatos as the old married couple type XD**

**Review!! =]**


	4. Anakin Skywalker

**Sorry this took only forever guys. I was just so busy with school work XD Oh the classic school excuse XD Anywhoooo here's Anakin, so enjoy!**

**Anakin Skywalker**

1) More than anything in the world, even more than for freeing him, Anakin is happy Xanatos decided to free his mother as well. Because he doesn't think he would be a very happy person if he couldn't go down to the creche every so often to visit his mother. She was his world and he really didn't love anyone more than her.....except maybe Padme, but she was a _completely _different story.

2)At first, Anakin had been a bit disapointed that Xanatos had chosen Obi-Wan over him. And then he met Qui-Gon Jinn.

Qui-Gon Jinn had to be the kindest most level headed, broad minded man Anakin ever had the honor to meet and call master. Qui-Gon generously offered Anakin all the love and care he had been denied, growing up as a slave. For the most par, Qui-Gon was patient and understanding with him. Sure, they had their normal disagreements, but other than that Anakin didn't regret for a second, having Qui-Gon as a master. The older man's voice could solve his any problem and his touch could calm even his most tense nerves. And in no time Qui-Gon was the father Anakin had grown up without for 9 years.

Perhaps this was why, Anakin fell so hard after his master's death.

3) From the second Anakin laid eyes on Padme he fell in love. And force did he fall hard.

Even though he was just 9 he really did love her. Except back then she was 14 and too busy swooning over Obi-Wan and Xanatos. This didn't bother Anakin too much because he knew it was just a childish crush on two Jedi. It would never get anywhere. And then he realized he was about to become a Jedi too. Oh boy.

Anakin thought of Padme every day for the next 10 years. He bet Obi-Wan and Xanatos didn't. So why wouldn't Padme even look at him straight? He cared more...

And then Garen came into the picture, all handsome and mysterious. He thought Obi-Wan and Xanatos were bad? Padme was all over Garen. And she didn't have that little crush that she had on Xanatos, no she was as badly in love with Garen as Anakin was with her. She completely fell for his brooding powerful Jedi Master act. Of course it was no act, Anakin knew Garen was naturally a good natured man...bu still....he was so perfect! And hell did Padme like perfect. Just great. Padme spent even less time with her once Garen came along. Anakin tried very hard to ignore it but it always bothered him so much every time he saw Padme trying to cathc Garen's attention and him turning her down. Why was it that she always fell for the guys that she would never get? Well...somewhere down the line she did get Garen.....and that was what hurt the most. When Garen finally accepted her. And pushed him away from her forever.

Oh, and he knew the things Garen and Padme did when he wasn't looking. Anakin Skywalker may be a stuborn ove sick puppy but he is definately not stupid.

4) Anakin was so grateful to Garen for taking him in after Qui-Gon's death. Because there was nothing that scared the young apprentice more than the thought of being kicked out of the Jedi order. Because he had worked so long and hard to meet the standards of the order, and to be kicked out just because his master had passed away would be atrocious. Though he had to admit at first he did not like the idea of having Garen put in such close contact with him. First off because even though he knew it wasn't, something inside Anakin hated the idea of anyone being his master other than Qui-Gon. And it made him feel a bit like Garen was taking Qui-Gon's place. Secondly because...well....he was romanticaly involved with the woman Anakin loved. And what could possibly be more painful than seeing the man that is the reason you are heart broken every single second of your life?

Of course, Anakin wasn't a complete jelous obnoxious, uncaring prick. He loved Garen like a brother and it really did make him happy to see Garen happy. But one could only ignore their own feelings for so long...Nevertheless, Anakin did it. He told Garen that he was happy for him and Padme. He did and felt no regret.

That is until a few days later when he and Garen were sparring and when he was about to be struck down, something went off inside of him. Because the moment Garen was about to beat him in one more thing, something inside of Anakin snapped. And pure uncontrolable raged filled him up as he shot his hand forward and with all the force in his body, force pushed his master into the ship, with nothing but the sheer intent to kill. And this was what made Anakin feel guilty when Garen forgave him and told him he was proud. The fact that he had done it on purpose. And he knew it.

5) Anakin wasn't like the other Jedi and he knew it. Whenever something set Anakin off, he would get angry whereas Obi-Wan would calmly handle the situation. It wasn't his fault and he tried to control it....but he just couldn't. He knew Xanatos would get angry like him too, but he had Obi-Wan to stand in his way and tell him to rethink his desicion. Sure, Anakin had Qui-Gon, but Qui-Gon wouldn't explain the situation to him like Obi-Wan would to Xanatos. Qui-Gon would berate him for not following his teachings. It only made Anakin angrier. Angry that he was alone. Angry that there was no one to teach and guide him properly.

But then again, he decided how could they if he shut them all out like the stubborn headstrong teenager he was.

6) Anakin had gone on a mission alone with Xanatos before. Once, when he was 17. It was a simple escort mission. Nothing to hard right? Nope!

Because if there's anythign Anakin has learned in his time at the temple, then it's that a mission is never safe and simple when it comes to Xanatos or Obi-Wan. So of course their ship was attacked half way to the planet(Xanatos wasn't even surprised. He simply rolled his eyes and said "Here we go......._again_.") But there was a point where even Xanatos became a bit overwhelmed by the number of enemies aboard. And maybe Anakin was imagining it....but he could have sworn he felt a twinge of the dark side in the older man....

Of course he was imagining it....Xanatos would never do anything that wasn't ok with the council. And it definately wasn't ok to use the dark side........_was _it?

7) Anakin hated it when anyone put him down. Be it Ferus Olin, be it Qui-Gon Jinn. He just couldn't stand it. Because he had fought so hard to become who he is today, that it stings ten times as much when someone points out a flaw in him. He had worked just as hard as Obi-Wan and Garen! So why is it that they could be flawless and not him?!

Those thoughts plagued Anakin for years as he worked towards perfection, and was shot twenty levels down everytime someone told him to fix something. He figured maybe it was just his ego. Or maybe he really was imperfect....

Nah....he was Anakin Skywalker. He was the Chosen One. Of course he was perfect.

8) Anakin felt no pain greater than when Qui-Gon passed away. At that moment everything was blocked out and all he knew was the cold merciless pain that had impaled itself into his heart. It had hurt him so much, that when even _Padme _touched him, he blew. He just wanted to be left alone with the frustration, pain and hurt that was so rapidly filling him up. His mind just couldn't register it....Qui-Gon....gone?

But in the end it was all too real. Anakin Skywalker had started without a father. And now in the end he had no father.

9) Anakin wasn't a bad person. Honest. He knew how to be selfless, passionate, loveable, soft spoken, polite, sweet, kind and sensitive.

He just chose not to be.

10) There were 7 times in Anakin's life that he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces.

The first, when his mother first really yelled at him. This was when he was 7 and he had seen some of his friends with their fathers and asked who his father was. Shmi had gotten really mad at him for that one. Mad being the understatement of the century.

The second, when Qui-Gon first really yelled at him. It was when he was 12 and he had gotten real mad at padawan Ferus Olin during one of their spars and gave him a serious burn on the upper right arm. Qui-Gon had gotten real mad at him for that one. Mad being the understatement of the millenium.

The third when he had seen that nightmare about Qui-Gon's death.

Fourth, the very same night when he had seen Obi-Wan and Padme rush out of the balcony to aid him. Together.

The fifth when he cought Padme kissing Garen. Because this was when he realized Padme was slipping a bit too far out of his reach.

The sixth when he stood up on that temple spire with a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder and glanced over to Padme and found her hand in Garen's. And saw Garen giving her hand a light squeeze. Because it was then, that it was official. Padme had finally found someone that was just as serious about her, as she was about him. And she had shut Anakin out forever.

And the final with the news of Qui-Gon's death. Because if pain was the definition of how he felt when he saw Padme with another man then he felt like he had been brutally beaten and murdered after hearing of Qui-Gon's death.

And yet somehow, every single time....his heart managed to pull each and every piece back together and become whole again.

**Ok so how was it? Good I hope because some of them were a tad rushed XD Which was your favorite?? Be sure to let me know! Oh and Qui-Gon's next!! So be prepared!!!**

**Review!! =]**


	5. Reeft

**Ok guys, I know I said I'd put Qui-Gon up next but I'm just so attached to Reeft now I mean I even created a background story for him and I just had to write him up next. =] Oh and the things said about Garen in this aren't mentioned in his 10 Secrets because well...I thought up Reeft's story recently...so yeah XD**

**Enjoy!**

**~Reeft**

1) Reeft was a simple man living around very complicated people. His life story was simple. He grew up at the temple, witnessed his family's death sometime in his twenties while visiting them, became a bit more quiet and reserved, and then moved on with his life. His friends on the other hand had these insane crazy stories to tell of their lives and somehow Reeft always ended up in the retellings of these stories. Somehow he would always end up in "a bit of a situation" on every mission and once he got home he'd walk around the corner where a group of younglings would jump him, shouting the stories they'd heard about him from a certain three other Jedi. For a simple man, after group or partner missions with his friends, he got stuck in the healer's ward an awful lot. For a simple man, he'd faced the dark side, the sith, and everything crazy that roamed the galaxy a bit too much.

So maybe he didn't have much of a simple life after all. But that was his friends'-gone-family's fault…and honestly, he wouldn't have it any other way.

2) Garen Muln was unarguably Reeft's closest friend. It was Obi-Wan and Garen that went around acting crazy like they were and running around together, making a reputation of the greatest friends in the temple, but it was Reeft that Garen shared a flat with. Reeft that Garen went on a five year mission to the outer rim with. And Reeft that Garen came to when Obi-Wan and Xanatos were out together. Obi-Wan and Xanatos spent almost every second of their lives with one another. And there were times when it had to be just the two of them. It was these times that Reeft would be sitting alone at their quarters, reading a holo-pad or watching the t.v and Garen would walk in, collapse onto the couch next to him and demand they go do something.

Reeft might not acknowledge it, and he might act as though Garen was a constant nuisance, but both he and Garen knew he would be nothing without the other.

3) Reeft and Garen were assigned missions like Obi-Wan and Xanatos were. Together on almost every single one. Whether it was because they were almost unstoppable together or that the council knew they enjoyed one another's company was unknown to him, but whatever it was, Reeft was glad. Because force knows he wouldn't have been able to carry on that one mission after the loss of his family without Garen by his side.

4) Unlike most Jedi, Reeft knew his family pretty well. It was only because he and Garen would be assigned a mission to their home planet of Kaikelius every other month. And after witnessing the death of his family, Reeft couldn't have hated that more. Of course the council did have hearts and they stopped assigning him missions there after that. Even Garen, but that was a whole different story.

5) There were several people in Reeft's life that he loved more than anything. There were the basics, his three best friends. And then there were his father, his mother his sister, five years his junior and he even had a lover. Reeft used to be just as openly wild and expressive as Obi-Wan or even Garen. But one mission changed all that.

The one mission where he, Garen and his lover, Kira were sent out to Kaikelius to investigate the pattern of deaths amongst the senate members. They'd been there for about a week or so before they found an underground organization that had supposedly disappeared almost a hundred years ago, behind the murders that had some history with the senate. And two hours before Garen, Reeft and Kira were going to report the evidence of the existence of this organization, Reeft's house was bombed. Timed and bombed to the point where no one would have survived within 50 feet of it. Reeft's father was in there. As well as his mother and his sister.

And Kira.

Reeft and Garen had been out sparring.

6) That whole other story with Garen-Reeft knew about it. And he was perfectly fine with it. He honestly couldn't have picked a better person for his little sister to love. He knew it was never going to go anywhere-Garen was after all a faithful Jedi-and they knew it too. Plus to add in the fact that they only saw each other every few months, it was definitely never going to go beyond dating. But they felt so deeply for one another, seemed no one had the heart to stop them. Not even the council, who could probably hear Garen go on about her from miles away. They knew he would never do anything stupid. And if he did Reeft would be there to stop him. Because it was personal.

After Reeft's home had been blown into smithereens, it was Garen who stormed up to the senate and threw endless amounts of evidence of them at them of the organization, then proceed to wipe them out. Each and every one of them.

Then fall to his knees and cry until Reeft found him. It was the first time in his entire life that Reeft had ever seen his friend cry and he prayed to the force it would be the last.

When Garen got with Padme, instead of feeling the slightest bit hurt like he had expected to feel, he felt happy. Because finally, that little part in Garen's eyes that was always filled with the pain of loosing his lover-even when he smiled-was gone. And Reeft couldn't have been any happier.

7) After the loss of his family as well as Kira, Reeft had become quieter. A bit more reserved, a little less wild and a bit more stoic. His family's loss had hurt him deeply. And Kira's death a million times more. Hand instead of feeling unspeakable, yet controlled hate that Garen did, he felt agony. Nothing but sick, raw sadness and sorrow. He skipped that phase in need of justice that Garen had and went straight to collapsing and breaking down. He wasn't sure why but it just happened. And then Xanatos and Obi-Wan were sent to bring him and Garen back to Coroscant, and suddenly with three other people by his side-the world was a little brighter.

Maybe that's why Reeft grew a sick phobia of being alone after that…

8) Reeft loved Kira Naves with his life. He loved her to the galaxy's end and back. He'd grown up very closely with her and couldn't imagine a life without her. It was almost unthinkable till it became reality. Once that happened for a moment Reeft wasn't sure whether he should go on or not (then he became completely sure he _had_ to go on when he shared the though with Garen, and Garen promptly slapped him across the face. Hard.) And even though Reeft did carry on with his life, he hasn't loved another since.

9) Reeft used to keep his hair short (somewhat like Garen's) and he used to keep a light beard. But every once in a while he would let his hair grow out and fit in a shave here and there. And Kira used to love it. She used to tell him he looked his best like that; shoulder length hair and a clean shave. She said the genetic dent in his chin made him look bold, powerful and courageous; like a real Jedi. And then she would frown disapprovingly when he would get a haircut and stop shaving again. But she would always get used to it, knowing he would eventually go back to the look she loved so much. And there where many times Reeft had considered keeping it the way she loved just to make her happy, but he found he was a bit too attached to his beard and shortened hair to do that. But after she died Reeft suddenly found himself growing uneasy every time he would grow even a stubble. He would find himself unable to cut his hair short. So he didn't. He hasn't in almost 15 years either.

10) There have been eight times in Reeft's entire life that he felt as though his life had been torn up so badly he would never be able to put it back together.

The first when Bruck Chun had almost killed not only Obi-Wan but also Bant. Because no one messed with his brother and his sister and got away with it.

The second when Reeft had heard about Xanatos and Obi-Wan's 'death'

The third when his family along with Kira had gone. When he and Garen both suddenly sensed a disturbance and began running towards the house. When Garen realized the house was bombed and they'd be blown to pieces if they got any closer. When Garen then grabbed Reeft by the arm and forced him to run away from the house so they wouldn't be killed. When the explosion hit them anyway. And when Reeft woke up an indefinite time later, lying on the ground, and unconscious Garen next to him and the sickening scent of burning flesh all around him.

The fourth when he was on his five year mission with Garen. One time about two years in when he and Garen had a bit of an argument, Garen walked out of the house and spent the rest of the night outside. It wasn't until the next afternoon that Reeft had found out Garen was taken hostage; bounty hunters enjoyed finding a drunk out of his mind Jedi on the streets. Garen was shot and stabbed repeatedly. And for a short period after Garen was found again, his pulse was masked with a certain drug. Reeft thought he was dead. The world couldn't have been any darker for Reeft than those few hours.

The fifth when he heard of Qui-Gon's death-and was on the complete other side of the galaxy. And was forced to miss the funeral.

The sixth when his squadron was suddenly called up with reports that Xanatos, Obi-Wan, Alliya, Garen and Anakin were being held captive by Grievous because being held captive by Grievous and being dead were just about the same thing. And force knew he wasn't about to lose Garen or any of his other friends again.

The seventh after Alliya's death when he turned to Xanatos and asked the older man if he was alright. And Xanatos simply smiled at him and said "Absolutely perfect" and yet the heart break in Xanatos's eyes was so clear, so powerful, that Reeft couldn't help but pull the man that was practically a father to him, into a hug.

And the final when he felt the dark side in Anakin. Clear as broad daylight, be it for only a few seconds and then afterwards just a lingering feel. For those few seconds it was so strong it was sickening. And it was precisely at that moment that Reeft knew that the end was near.

**Ok, well that was Reeft, Qui-Gon will be next, then Padme =] I hope you guys loved reading this as much as I loved writing it =]**

**Review!!**


	6. Padme Amidala

**Hey guys, I know I said Qui-Gon would be next, but I blame Bubbly-Padawan Kenobi for getting me interested in doing Padme-Torch her, it was her idea!!!! XD **

**So here's Padme. Oh and another thing, most of the information here (aside from the basics that you guys know belong to me) is from Wookiepedia, except I think in the actually SW franchise Padme has a sister, well here she has a brother =] Just little things here and there that were changed to fit into the story plot =]**

**Enjoy!**

~Padme Amidala

1) Padme Amidala grew up in the royal palace; her father was the king. She never knew her mother; she died giving birth to her. And then there was her brother. Her beloved kind and intelligent brother. He was four years senior to her and loved her unconditionally. She had a relatively normal childhood. That is until she turned 16. When she turned 16, Padme's brother, Ged, came to their father asking to marry a woman he had loved and been seeing for a while. She was kind, beautiful and most definitely pure. The catch-she was a working class person. No royalty, no riches, nothing. Just a pure heart. Of course When Ged requested of this, his father claimed she only wanted to marry him because he was next in line for the throne. Of course this wasn't true but who would dare go against the King?

Up until that point Ged and his father had been inseparable. They were the best of friends and for something so small to have come between them-it was hard to believe. They one final fight one night before Padme woke up one morning, and saw all the handmaidens and everyone in the palace in a frenzy. It was only hours later did she find out that her brother had eloped with the woman he loved without a single trace as to where he went. And that was it. That was the end.

Padme wasn't very surprised when he father had a heart attack shortly afterwards.

2) Padme had dated 2 men before Garen. The first was Palo, whom she met during her teens. They had a wonderful relationship. That is until he decided to become an artist and she continued in politics. Then later in her twenties she dated Ian Lago, whom she had to admit she was very much in love with. They had quite the relationship too before their quarrelling families interfered. After some difficulties Ian disappeared and she hadn't seen him since. And she had to admit, the only reason she fell head over heels for Garen the second she saw him was because he had an uncanny resemblance Ian. Of course it was much later that she realized Garen was ten times the man Ian could have ever hoped to be.

3) When Padme first saw Xanatos and Obi-Wan and the relationship they shared, it instantly reminded her of her brother and father. Oh memories.

She saw them laugh, play and comfort just as she had seen her brother and father. And when Xanatos and Obi-Wan fell out on Tatoine, Padme felt nothing but raw fear. Because god knew, she'd seen that somewhere before. And the last time it had happened, she'd lost both of them.

4) How much Padme loved Garen couldn't possibly be expressed in words. She loved everything about him, his soft brown hair, his deep green eyes, his warm smile, his deep laugh-everything. She loved the way his entire face lit up when he laughed, she loved the distant look he would get in his eyes every time he zoned out, she loved the way he raised a brow at almost everything she said in the most comical way. She loved how he made her laugh; she loved his pure heart, his clean intentions and his respect of everyone and everything around him. She loved absolutely everything associating with the words Garen and Muln. But most of all she loved his dedication-not to her but to the Jedi. He was in no way willing to shake his trust or belief in the Jedi Order and that reassured Padme very much, because of he could betray the order that raised and built him then who's to say he wouldn't betray her? Food for thought.

5) Padme had to admit, she didn't expect Garen to turn her down so harshly the first two times she tried to show her feelings towards him. And it hurt her so deeply it made her feel stupid. For crying out loud he was just a man…right? Wrong. Garen Muln was the man.

6) Padme had loved Palo. She'd loved Ian. And she most definitely loved Garen. But there was something different about the love she had for Garen. With Garen, she was willing to give up anything for his happiness or his well being. Even if it meant sacrificing something big herself, she was willing to do it for him. She could give up the ability to walk around with a husband in the streets just to see him remain a part of the Jedi Order he treated with so much respect and humility. She could deal with raising a child (for the most part) on her own if it meant his happiness. She was willing to do all that for him. And only for him because she knew she would have never dropped politics for Palo's art or her family for Ian. She'd do both for Garen any day

7) Padme always knew that Anakin had this…this infernal infatuation with her. She just never thought it would come to a point of love. Oh, yes she knew Anakin Skywalker loved her, and that Garen had to take a lot of shit for it. She'd tried several times to show him the farthest he could love him was as a younger brother, but it didn't seem enough for him. Anakin would never act upon his feelings because he had at least that much respect for Garen as not to do something like that. But still, just the fact that Anakin still loved her was something that made Padme nervous. She didn't know why, but something told her it would lead to no good.

8) Padme loved dancing. It was one of her guilty pleasures. She loved it. She remembers taking ballroom dancing lessons when she was younger with her brother. The two of them used to dance for fun all the time. It was just another one of her many hobbies and lessons when she was younger, except she actually enjoyed this one. And it served her well too considering she had to know these kinds of things to participate in political parties and such. But after the demise of her family it was something she couldn't give much attention to anymore and eventually forgot.

That is until one day Garen was over at her place when he turned on some soft music and randomly stated how he'd always been fascinated by the art of ballroom dancing. After that it suddenly became something Padme did everyday again. And Garen wasn't half bad either…for a Jedi of course.

9) When Padme first found out she was pregnant she wasn't exactly sure how to feel. She was excited, scared and thrilled all at the same time. The fact that she was going to be a mother was enough to drive her mad with happiness, but then remembering that the father was Garen was enough to driver her back down. Because like mentioned earlier, Padme would give anything for Garen's happiness and a necessity in Garen's happiness was his position in the Jedi Order. Which of course couldn't be maintained if it was ever found out that he had a child. And she knew it would kill her inside but if Garen wanted it she would have to rid herself of the child. Of course, she knew somewhere in the back of her mind that Garen wasn't nearly so cruel as to want something like that-and come to think of it, it might not have been the back of her mind after all. No, no, it wasn't the back of her mind, it was her heart.

Maybe that was why she didn't hesitate nearly as much as she thought she would when Garen asked her what was wrong.

10) There were nine times in Padme's life where she was fully convinced her life was over.

The first when she was five and a friend of hers asked her why her mother left her. "Didn't she love you?" he friends said innocently.

The second when Ged left home, because Padme knew she would never see him again. And that hurt almost as much as the thought of never seeing Garen again-and that was painful to the max.

The third was when her father died, because it was then that she was officially alone in the world. All family gone. And no, he power hungry extended family members didn't count.

The fourth when Palo left her to be an artist. Damn bastard. "If he really cared about you" Garen said one night "He would have been able to give up something as trivial as art for you. Of course I am no one to talk seeing I haven't given up my own occupation for you yet."

"Yes, but you haven't left me yet either" was Padme's reply.

The fifth was when Ian disappeared because she really…really, really loved him. A lot. And she knew he felt the same. When she visited his room after his disappearance, she found a little velvet box in his desk drawer. And when she took a deep breath and opened up the little box, she found a beautiful ring inside. But of course he'd never gotten the chance to give it to her and that probably hurt the most. Because Padme knew somewhere in the middle of the fray he'd probably been killed and the families just got together and made it seemed like a random disappearance so they wouldn't get blamed for anything. After all Ian was just like Padme, with nothing left but greedy power hungry extended relatives. And in the world of politics anyone could do anything.

The sixth was when she stepped into the reactor core in her palace in Naboo and found Xanatos and Obi-Wan laying on the ground, just barely alive.

The seventh was when Garen turned her down, because it was then that she felt the same pain she did when Ian disappeared. She felt the same pain that she felt when Ian left, when Garen simply turned her down. That was saying something.

The eighth was when she saw the state Xanatos, Obi-Wan, Anakin and Garen fell into after the death of Qui-Gon.

And the final when she was waiting for Xanatos, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Garen and Alliya's arrival from rescuing the chancellor and she'd gotten word of a spreading rumor that one of the Jedi was killed. And for that one sickening moment that her mind realized that Xanatos, Obi-Wan or even Garen might be dead, she truly felt like her life was over.

**Alright, that was Padme. Phew XD what'd you guys think? I actually liked writing hers, I mean it's fun writing about her and Garen to a degree. Like really writing about them and not in the mushy crappy "Notebook" sense. So yeah…XD**

**Review!!**


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